Articles
In this house we will laugh!
Perhaps you have found that the crazy speed at which your weeks
are rocketing by and the stress of dailyl life, has left your family feeling like you haven’t laughed in forever.
“My daughter Ella and her school friend Sarah were playing at our house when Ella accidentally marked on Sarah’s nose with a permanent black marker. When my other kids noticed the mark, they started giggling. Sarah was obviously embarrassed and just as she was about to cry, I gasped and said, “Sarah, wait right there!” I took the marker and drew a mark on my nose, and then on my daughters’ noses. In seconds, we were all laughing, including Sarah.” Extract from “Do you need to lighten up?” – Focus on the Family.
Sometimes it is not as simple as that, we know! But you will be surprised at how often a potentially sad or difficult situation can be turned into family fun. It takes a bit of effort, new habit forming and some practice, but so very well worth it. As parents in this busy world of work, homework, cooking dinner and all the other busyness, we often miss the golden opportunities to have some fun.
Choose to inject joy and laughter as often as you can. Play some loud crazy song and dance all over the house. Yes, mom, just for no reason at all, while everyone is busy with something on their own in the house somewhere, suddenlythere is this crash of loud music and mom’s dancing, like no one is watching, all over the kitchen. Soon everyone will be dancing with you. WARNING! Time it well though, because your biggest problem could be to get them calmed down and sitting around the dinner table 20 minutes later.
When we intentionally commit to pursuing joy with our family, we lift the mood and cast some joy on the mood of anyone who may have had a hard day, not only the children, you or dad as well. The mess of life is still there, but it is so much easier to deal with after a bit of laughter.
To that end, we have found some ways you can create a joy-filled atmosphere in your home and family life daily.
Make time to play
Single children especially need you to make deliberate fun and playtime with
them, but even if you have more children and they are inclined to spend some time playing together, make sure that you get involved occasionally, and take part in the fun and games, from time to time. Even if you just put the dog on a lead and got for a walk down the road, talk, laugh and relax, it is time so well spent that you will never regret it.
There are so many ways to have family fun: weekly game nights, dance parties, movie nights, karaoke sing-offs and picnic dinners. The list is endless! Just deliberately schedule joy time.
Providing a home, food, school, sport is great but sadly it is not enough. Yes, children need to know that we will consistently be there for them, but they also need to have fun with us, to laugh and play together. That doesn’t just build joy; it builds their confidence and self-esteem.
Alter the mood
As moms, we are often the CMO (Chief Mood Officer) of the house. We are inclined to so often tell our children to change their attitudes when they are moping around about something, but we forget that when we are stressed, our kids are stressed. When we are joyful, they are often joyful too. If we are intentional about it, we can change the mood in the house.
Now don’t forget that all too often, while we are planning this fun time, everything just seems to want to go wrong and the whole night just seems to be turning into a fat disappointment. Remember that you are the manager, the Chief Mood Officer, turn up the music or draw a funny picture on your face with a permanent marker; do what you have to do, but don’t lose it and shout, then everyone will feel bad and everything will be ruined. Get yourself ready with an arsenal of mood-altering tricks. Go outside, look at the moon, find shooting stars or satellites, even just an aeroplane. Go on a walk together; take out an old photo album or the dress-up box. Arrange a ‘wear-a-funny-hat’ night. Ask funny questions at dinner; host a joke contest. The list is endless… and remember spontaneity is key.
If the family is in a foul mood and fighting, you can literally change the scene. Call “time out… you have 2 minutes to get into the car”. Then go for a drive, doesn’t have to be far, just to the nearest high spot, to look at the lights over town. Maybe go for a milkshake at the roadhouse in your pj’s. A change of venue can interrupt a bad mood and refocus everyone’s attention on something more positive.
Do something for someone else
Not only when our kids are being ungrateful, as they no doubt sometimes are, but just to teach them sharing and gratitude, you can have a “random acts of kindness day”. Next time its take-out day, order an extra meal and give it to someone on the street. When you at home enjoying that meal, ask them for ideas on what you can do for someone else next week. You could even just give a bottle of water to someone on the street corner on a hot day. Bake a batch of cookies for the granny down the road. Cook a meal together for a family in need; mow a neighbour’s lawn. It not only teaches them to be grateful, but they will also feel better about themselves.
Embrace mistakes
Give yourself and your kids permission to laugh over the unexpected. Someone spilled the milk? No need to yell or point out the accident. Instead, make it a race to get the paper towels and clean it up, or call the dogs in and see which one laps the fastest (you can even give a loser an extra sip). Kids are normally embarrassed when accidents happen, lighten the mood and laugh it off with ‘some days it happens!”
After all, it isn’t the end of the world. It is so easy to react to messes and mistakes, and of course we must correct defiance and disobedience, but a careless mistake provides an opportunity for us to show grace. We need to fight the urge to get mad or shame our children. Mistakes happen.
These tips might seem simple, but they can be hard to put into action during the stress of actual life. Let’s get real it’s not going to be a walk in the park. But, often stress is pretty comical, and even when it isn’t, we can find ways to inject fun.
We often let the things that matter only in the next 10 minutes crowd out the things that will matter in the next 10 years. Have fun gathering that arsenal of mood-altering tricks. Live, Laugh and Love!
