Articles
New Moms Share
“If I knew then what I know now!”
In the newborn period a special time?
Yes! Is it easy? Hell no! I don’t think anyone would argue that having your first baby is easy. There are so many challenges to deal with during that time. In retrospect, we always see one or two things that we wish we had done differently or that we wish we had known beforehand.
We have gathered some thoughts from various new moms who shared what worked for them, and what they would have done differently, to help give you a headstart with your new baby.
Trust your instincts
If everyone says to do something and you disagree, even if you aren’t sure why, do what you think is right. You were designed for YOUR baby, and YOUR baby for you. Let them teach you as much as you teach them. Ultimately, you will know what is right for your little one, not everyone else. ~ Gladys
Set up birth boundaries
Decide how and who you want to be involved in your birth and postpartum time. We did really well with that – I didn’t tell anyone my due date except for immediate family because I didn’t want people texting me every five seconds asking if she was born yet. I didn’t tell anyone I was in labour (just husband, midwife and close family, obviously) for the same reasons – I didn’t want to spend any energy on people trying to check in on me and I didn’t want to feel rushed. And we had a no visitors policy for the first while after we got home. ~ Annemarie
Practically soothing
“Witch hazel. In a pad. In the freezer. Get a friend who will make you a whole lot of those for when you come home from the hospital!” ~ Tanya
Birth and recovery
Be ready for your birth plan to completely change. Bonding with your
new baby doesn’t always happen instantly, and you don’t need to feel guilty about it. Have loose undies ready at home. ~ Patience
Be prepared for surprises
There are things that happened during my birth that no one, including our birth class, told me about or prepared me for, like getting the uncontrollable shakes. So don’t be afraid to ask questions if something is happening and you don’t understand it. ~ Marika
You don’t have to be a super mom
When our twins were born I became fiercely determined to handle things on my own as fast as possible. I thought that the sooner I could learn to cope, the better because I had a long road of double everything ahead of me. I would not even allow our domestic helper to hold one crying baby while I fed the other. In retrospect, I should have pulled in as much help as I could get, especially with having twins. ~ Karen
Asking for help is OK
Surrender. Ask for help. It doesn’t mean you are inferior or less of a mom. Motherhood is terrifying and difficult at first – asking for help is good. And listen to all the advice you get but decide what works best for you and the baby. ~ Nerisha
Feeding frenzy
I wish I knew about the difficulties that come with breastfeeding and the mom guilt that can happen when your milk isn’t fully in. For me, it was important to recognize and understand that supplementing didn’t make me less of a mom, but more of one because I was putting my baby’s well-being first. ~ Jessie
Be one step ahead
Having a little boy? Always cover the penis. Always.~ Betty
Too much expectation
I wish I had known not to put so much expectation on myself and my son. Once you go with the flow, everything happens naturally and you can enjoy your time together! ~ Lauren
It’s your first time too
Anytime I got frustrated, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this is not only my baby’s first time learning how to do something, but it’s mine too – and that really helped. ~ Riana
Take time for self-care
Make a little time for yourself. Even if it’s just a quick nap when your husband comes home or a solo trip to the mall for nappies. Don’t forget about your health and self-care. Your baby needs you to be relaxed and healthy. ~ Bonni
Not all babies sleep through the night
I wish I had known that not all babies are sleeping through the night by one year! My 11 month old still wakes up at least once during the night. ~ Thobile
It’s OK for baby to cry
I wish I’d known that babies cry; it’s how they communicate and there’s no reason to panic. ~ Celia
Enjoy each phase
With my first, I wished I hadn’t looked ahead to the next phase or milestone so much. I was obsessed with what was happening now, what happens next, and how to do everything right. I took everything slower the second time around and was more aware of how fleeting each phase was, and enjoyed it more. ~ Thembi
Make your own timetable
I wish I knew that schedules for a newborn don’t work for everyone! They push you to feed every two hours at the hospital but none of my babies ever ate that consistently! I just had baby number three and let go of trying to keep everything on a timetable. ~ Priscilla
All the emotions
I wish someone would have prepared me for the intense emotions of motherhood. I’m not talking just the first few weeks postpartum, either. I knew about those. I’m talking the guilt, the worry, the intense love, and intense frustration. It’s overwhelming! ~ Courtney
And remember – take lots and lots of photos!!! You will never be able to recapture those special moments.
