Articles
The 3 R’s…
by Karen de Jager
Reading, Writing, Reading from a language teacher’s perspective…
Teaching is one of those professions that seem to consume you, right from the moment that you stumble out of bed until you lay your head down at night. My last thoughts are those of lessons I intend to teach the following day and include fanciful images of pupils’ rapturous gazes as new nuggets of information are divulged to them. Their response to these can barely be contained, as they strain to stand up from behind their desks to catch my attention and ask for “some more (knowledge), please.”
The reality, though, is a classroom of 36 bland faces, some staring out of the window, others at their cellphones (secreted under their exercise books/ behind their pencil cases/ nestling right on top of their school bags on the floor next to them), but hardly ever at me. I start the first lesson ready to do battle.
The enemy that possesses powers in cyber space
My struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against an enemy that possesses powers in cyber space. I contend with a rival whose knowledge across a range of topics is deemed not only more relevant, but also far superior to mine. It gives byte-sized information on a purely need-to-know basis, and places no undue demands on its viewer to “perform” in tests or projects, or even to concentrate for longer than eight minutes at a time. It is pocket-sized, colourful and can be controlled at the owner’s whim.
Not even cold turkey
Despite the use of cellphones being disallowed during lesson time, pupils cannot cope when the object of their addiction is out of sight. Confiscation of the “drug” in the hope that the student will realise how serious his problem is after only one lesson of going cold turkey has never yielded that insight. Naming and shaming have not led to lasting behavioural changes, so I will not be asking any boy soon: “…And what is that that you are hiding between your legs?” or “Jannie, what are you finding so interesting down there?” Classmates may guffaw and share in his embarrassment for a moment, but ultimately recognise that they are all in this together. On one occasion, I even mentioned that prolonged exposure to cellphone radiation could render the “user” sterile and then suggested, semi-dramatically, that he keep his cellphone where it was, all to no avail.
Pupils and homework have never been good bedfellows
One excuse, though, stands out as having topped them all. The culprit in this case insisted that he had done all his homework and had even left his English book on his desk to be packed into his rucksack the next day. That night, through an act of God, rain had poured down through the only hole in the ceiling in his bedroom right onto that particular book, rendering the writing in it illegible! He had not brought the exercise book to school, as he just knew I would not be able to decipher his smudged squiggles. His mother, needless to say, corroborated the implausible story.
Amusing faux pas and novel spelling
Light relief is provided when marking exam scripts, though. One pupil wrote about a cheetah’s back that was “krusseling” as it stalked its prey. I never did have the heart to ask her afterwards what that word meant. A more recent faux pas was in an essay in which the doctor declared, in all seriousness, that the patient’s leg would be amputated and that she would be getting “a
prostate”! In an excerpt from a friendly letter, the writer expressed how he was suffering “under the circumcisions”. If you are looking for a novel spelling of exaggerating, try this one – “egzahigiraiting”!
A twist in the tale
The lessons I enjoy the most are those that are set aside for literature – more specifically, for short stories. Only those with a twist in the tale are selected and I must confess to a secret delight in drawing my listeners into the plot with me and then awaiting that “aha” moment when they realise they have been duped by the author – caught off guard by a conclusion they would never have anticipated. I can almost see them vow to themselves that this will not happen again, but another tale by a different writer… and they are outwitted for a second, and a third, time. My hidden agenda, quite simply, is that of encouraging every young adult to become a lifelong reader, as it is “one of the many little ways to enlarge your world.” (Jacqueline Kennedy).
Camaraderie is key in the teaching profession
Although an educator is essentially a one-man show in the classroom, there are enough opportunities for us to be together. Being a timekeeper at an
athletics event invariably provides a good laugh.
What other reaction can there be when you are so deeply engrossed in conversation during a 3½ lap, 1500 metre race, that the straggling competitor you have forgotten about, finally crosses the finish line without you realising it? What follows is a flurry of whispered calculations amongst the more alert officials. Guesstimated seconds are added to the time of the previous athlete, so that no suspicions are aroused. This goes to show that even language teachers sometimes have to do sums.
In the words of Jill Biden, “Teaching is not a job. It’s a lifestyle. It permeates your whole life.”
During October, Teacher Appreciation Month, I invite all pupils, and parents of school-going children to salute those teachers who make a difference.
